“I Wanna Hold Your Hand.”

I wish there were more words in the English language to describe moments—not just the emotions you experience, but the entirety of the thing itself. There’s something about the way the sounds of their voice break quiet that is different in a certain moment than any other time. It’s the way the shade is drawn, how the blankets are disheveled, how the sheets are wrinkled. There’s a dog somewhere in the room snoring quietly, a tiny bedside fan whirs even though you can barely feel its air. None of those things are important, but somehow they matter. Like this moment is only perfect because all of those mundane things are exactly where they are right then.

That’s what everyone wants. Not 24/7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche…or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can’t hide. Every single successful song of the past fifty years can be traced back to ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’. And every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding. — David Levithan, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

So you lay there and your fingers curl around someone else’s and you don’t have to ask if it’s alright but the flutter in your chest you felt since Day One hasn’t flickered out yet, either. Maybe you’re not a wildfire anymore. Maybe you’re a candle. And those fingers still belong to the spark that made you come alive.

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My husband had to leave for training and even though it’s only a short time and we’ve done this a million times before, I still like to spend the quiet moments before we’re apart being thankful for what we have.

I’m a hopeless romantic down to the marrow in my bones. So I collected a playlist I like to listen to in moments when I’m about to let go. I’ve never been good at goodbyes.

So until next time, here’s something to relax to. Hold someone’s hand. Mess up your sheets.

What songs put you in this moment with someone? What do you think I should add? I’m always open for new music suggestions (whether they fit this particular mood or not)!

Inhale, exhale

Flowers grow back even
after they are stepped on.

So will I.

Life is a perpetual deep end—sometimes you can reach the edge, some days you keep grabbing and your fingers come up empty.

When you’re a kid, adults like to drown you in broken record rhetoric about how you should hold onto your youth, don’t grow up too fast, etc. But they never tell you why it’s hard. They never tell you how people can hurt you. They never warn you that friends can break your heart too.

Between 19 and 22 you meet a lot of temporary people.

I’m halfway through my 20s and let me tell you—I am still surrounded by temporary people. Many people are temporary. Some people grow apart, some people grow together, and some people just leave, quietly, in a way that feels like what was between you never existed. That’s the nature of the beast.

But I’m sitting here telling you I am here for you. If you reach for me, you will get my hand. Be that for someone. This world is full of hate and sadness and loss and loneliness. I know how it feels—I know how you feel. Give me your love and light and I will send you mine.

Appreciate those who have your back and let them know, frequently. We need all the love we can get. Help me keep my head above water.

I’m rooting for you, guys.